So Bad I'm Gonna Scream
by WithoutLove.LifeIsLike
Summary: What if Troy didn't go to the school after the discussion with his father about Juilliard? In "So Bad I'm Gonna Scream" he goes to see Gabriella in California instead. But what happends when the stress follows him there? A two-shot. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

He didn't know where he was going, but Troy had to get away. He got into his truck and took a few deep breaths before turning the car on and driving away. His was so frustrated, so angry, so confused. He felt like he needed to scream.

_"When were you going to tell me about this? Juilliard?" Mr. Bolton asked his son._

_"There's nothing to tell," Troy said truthfully._

_"Well maybe there is. I heard you're talking to other schools. I mean, is this serious?"_

_"Yea, U of A isn't the only school that's talked to me, Dad, you know that."_

_"But it's the only school WE talked about. Chad would be awfully disappointed if you decided to change your mind."_

_"No, Chad would get over it. Would you?"_

Troy's foot was like lead on the gas petal of his truck, he was gaining speed by the second. He wasn't sure exactly how he got there, but eventually he ended up on the interstate. The interstate that would take him to Northern California if he kept on it. The interstate that would take him to Gabriella.

_"Son, we've been going to U of A games ever since you were a little kid. All you ever talked about was wearing that Red Hawks uniform!"_

_"I'm not a little kid anymore, Dad!"_

A few hours had passed and he was still driving. He realized how late it was and pulled over to a gas station. He began to fill up his truck while he took out his phone and dialed home.

"Hello?" His mother answered the phone sounding worried.

"Hey, Mama," Troy said softly.

"Oh, Troy. Thank God. Where are you?"

"Um…" Troy looked around. "A few miles south of Durango."

"Is that a joke?"

"No."

"Where do you think you're going? It's the middle of the night."

"I was thinking Palo Alto, California?" Troy tried.

"Honey, you can't just pick up and go see Gabriella. It doesn't work that way."

"Ma…"

"Sweetie, I know you miss her, but this is going a little too far, don't you think?" His mother tried to argue. He took a breath and looked at his watch.

"No, I don't," he sighed. "I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

"Drive safely and stop for gas when you need it. And pull over if you get tired," Mrs. Bolton said, giving in.

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Ma. Goodnight," he said hanging up.

--------

It was about fifteen minutes on the road again before his phone rang. _Gabriella._

"Hey," he answered.

"Hey, Yourself. Where are you?"

"Durango."

"As in Colorado?"

"That's the one."

"So they weren't joking."

"My mom called yours?"

"Yes. You're crazy, Wildcat."

"I just wanted to see you."

"I'm flying back in a few days for prom."

"So you'll drive back with me instead. I wanted to see you now."

"What's wrong?"

"I just miss you."

"You may be a good actor but you're a bad liar, Wildcat."

"I'll see you in the morning. If I drive straight through I should get there before breakfast."

"Okay. You know I have classes to go to tomorrow?"

"I know."

"Okay. Drive safe. Pull over if you get tired," she advised. Troy smiled.

"I will."

--------

Gabriella tried to go to sleep that night, but she wasn't finding it easy. Thoughts of Troy filled her mind. She knew that tone he used. The "I-feel-awful-right-now-and-I-just-want-to-forget-about-life-and-lie-with-you-for-hours-and-do-nothing" tone. She hated to think that he was feeling that way when she was so far. How would it be next year? He couldn't just skip practices and classes to see her every time he was feeling stressed. It wasn't until the sun was started to rise that she fell asleep.

-------

It was 8:30 in the morning when Ms. Montez opened the door to find an exhausted Troy Bolton standing there.

"You made good time," she said, allowing him into their apartment.

"Not much traffic," he said. "I'm sorry for not calling first."

"That's okay. Are you hungry?"

"No thank you."

"Gabriella is still asleep. She's not meant to wake up for another 15 minutes. I don't think she slept very much last night. She was really worried about you."

"I didn't mean to make her worry."

"I know. Why don't you call your mom and let her know you got here okay and I'll go wake Gabriella."

"Um, actually Ms. Montez, do you mind if I wake her?"

"Sure," she smiled, handing him the phone. "I'm just going to go finish getting ready for work. He smiled as much as his tired body would let him and gratefully accepted the phone. However, as soon as she was out of sight he put the phone down and walked down to what he assumed was Gabriella's room. He assumed correctly and knelt down next to the bed. He ran his fingers through her hair and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

"Mmmm… five more minutes…" she mumbled. He smiled, a bit more genuine this time, and kissed her forehead. "Troy?" she asked, slowly opening her eyes.

"Hey," he whispered. She quickly sat up and pulled him into her. The two hugged for what seemed like forever.

"What were you thinking driving here in the middle of the night?" She asked finally pulling away. Her hands were lingering on his chest and his on her thighs.

"I told you. I missed you," he said, leaning his forehead on hers. She looked into his eyes for a moment before he leaned in and kissed her softly.

"What happened?" She asked knowingly.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he sighed. "When do you have class?"

"In a half hour," she said looking at the clock that now read 9:00. "I'll be back by noon. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" She suggested, running her fingers through his hair.

"Okay," he said softly.

-----

True to her word, Gabriella walked into her room at 11:54. She stared at the sleeping boy in her bed and sighed. What was he doing there? What was so important that he couldn't wait to see her? It was just then that her house phone rang. She hurried to answer it in fear that it would wake her sleeping boyfriend.

"Hello?"

"Gabriella?"

"Hi, Coach Bolton."

"Please tell me Troy is there?"

"Yea he's here. He's asleep."

"Oh thank God. He's there, Lucy! We've been calling all morning. His phone was going straight to answering machine and nobody was answering your phone."

"I'm sorry. I just got home, my mom's at work," she apologized.

"Can you please wake Troy?"

"Of course. Hold on a second." She brought the phone with her and quietly entered her room. "Troy, sweetie?" She whispered, running her fingers through his hair just like he did to her earlier.

"Mmm?"

"Your dad's on the phone," she said.

"Shit. I forgot to call," he said, getting a sudden burst of energy. She handed him the phone and he took it out in the hall while she changed into a pair of sweatpants and Troy's red Wildcats T-Shirt. She didn't sleep much last night either and she was hoping they could continue the nap together. She got comfortable and began to close her eyes when she heard Troy's voice start to get louder. She opened her eyes and sat up. Maybe she would find out why Troy was there. She could only hear Troy's side of the conversation, but she made out what she could.

"I said I was sorry! My phone died, what do you want from me?! Well I did so you're a little too late! No, Dad! Because I don't want to! Well right now I'm not under your roof!" His voice got softer. "Of course I'm going to come home, Mama. I just needed to get out of the house. Because I didn't want to talk to Chad about it, I wanted to talk to Gabi." Pause. "I wanted to see her. No… please don't put Dad back on. Please… Dad! Dad, stop! Dad would you… would you please… would you just let me speak?! Dad! Dad, I'm gonna hang up! Ugh," he sighed, finally hanging up the phone on his dad. He didn't understand what his dad's problem was. It was his life; he should be reaching for his own dreams not his father's. Where was all this extra pressure coming from? He didn't even know what he wanted to do yet. He still loved basketball. But he loved theater now, too. He felt just at home on the stage as he did on the court. His mind continued to race and all of the sudden he felt his breath begin to shorten. He tried to take deeper breaths but felt he was incapable of it. His eyes because to water and his heart was beating faster. He dropped the phone and dropped to his knees, leaning on the wall for support. What the fuck was going on?

Gabriella wasn't sure what to think of what she heard. She became aware of his lack of presence after he hung up, but became worried when she heard the phone crash to the ground. She opened her door slowly, and looked over. Upon seeing her boyfriend leaning on the wall trying to catch his breath, she ran over and kneeled next to him.

"Troy?" She asked worried. He felt her presence and knew she had said something, but he kept his eyes closed. His head was leaning on the wall and his right hand was clutched over his chest, as if he was trying to reassure himself that his heart was in fact still beating. "Troy?" She said again. He heard her more clearly this time "Troy, look at me," she demanded, becoming increasingly worried. She, of course, knew he was having a panic attack. Two summers of first aid training will teach you that. She didn't know, however, if he understood what was happening to him. She slowly pulled him back off the wall and sat him on the opposite side so his back was leaning instead of his head. His eyes were open but everything was blurry. He allowed her to move him back, but instantly brought one knee up closer to him. He felt her kneel in front him and take his face in her hands.

"I can't breathe," he said between breaths.

"Yes you can."

"I can't," he repeated.

"Look at me," she demanded again. It took all he had in him to pick his head up and look her eyes. "You can breathe. I promise you, you can breath." Looking into her eyes, he believed her.

It was at the moment that Ms. Montez walked into her apartment. She hurriedly made her way over to the children and kneeled down behind her daughter.

"What's wrong?"

"He's having a panic attack…his dad just called," Gabriella explained, keeping her eyes on him and continuing to breath slowly. "Troy, I need you to breathe with me now, okay?" She said calmly, aware that if she freaked out it would only make his condition worse. He nodded as much as he could and tried his best to regulate his breathing.

"Troy, honey," Ms. Montez started. "Can you hear me?"

Troy nodded slightly again and continued to breath with Gabriella's rhythm.

"Mom can you get him some water please? And see if we have any M&Ms." Ms. Montez nodded and escaped into the kitchen. As Gabriella watched her mom walk away she felt Troy's hands make their way up to her own, which were still on his face. His breath started to slow down and he felt his heart slow with it. She looked him in the eye and continued to breath with him until he was all right on his own again.

"Thanks," he said softly, slightly embarrassed.

"Don't mention it," she said, looking at him worriedly as he brought their hands down. What was so bad with his dad that he drove fifteen hours to see her only to have a panic attack in her hallway?

"Honey, why don't you go lie down in Gabriella's room. She'll be right there," Ms. Montez said as she came back, water and M&Ms in hand. He nodded and Gabriella helped him up. He held on to her for a moment to steady himself before slowly walking back to her room.

"What was that?" Ms. Montez asked.

"I don't know. I heard the phone fall and I came out here and he was on the floor," she said taking a deep breath. It was one thing to keep her calm for Troy but now that he was in the other room she allowed herself to let it all sink in with her mother.

"You did really great, Honey," her mom told her. She nodded and one tear escaped. Her mother wiped it away and handed her the things she asked for. "Has this happened to him before?"

"I don't know," she told her mother honestly. "If it has I didn't know about it."

"Go check on him. I'm going to call his mother."

"Okay. But don't ask him to talk to them, okay? At least not yet."

"Okay," she agreed. Her daughter offered her a small smile and walked back into her room. Troy was lying on the bed, facing away from her. She put the water and M&Ms on the night table and sat on the bed. He didn't turn around, even when she began to rub his arm.

"Troy?"

"Mmm?"

"You want to talk about what happened in there?"

"No," he sighed, turning around so that he was lying on his back. Their hands found each other and she looked at him worriedly.

"Has that ever happened to you before?"

"No."

She ran her thumb across his bottom lip. "How are you feeling? Are your lips tingly?"

"How'd you know?" He asked her curiously.

"Sometimes when people hyperventilate that happens. The M&Ms will help," she said, handing them to him.

"Thanks," he said, opening the bag and popping a few in his mouth. He poured a few more out in his hand and picked out the green ones to hand to Gabriella.

"Keep them," she said, closing his hand.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," he said, continuing to eat the candy.

"I think you scared yourself more than you scared me," she said, rubbing his arm softly. "What did it feel like?"

"Like my heart was beating so fast that it would eventually just stop. And like I couldn't catch my breath."

"Did it hurt?" She asked.

"Not really."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just had to get away from him. I know he doesn't mean to, but… he just… puts so much pressure on me," he said, referring to his father. "And I thought once the season was over her would back off a little, but he hasn't."

"Troy…"

"And I just don't understand what his problem is! It's my life, and I have to live with whatever decision I make!"

"I know," she said softly.

"I don't want to go to U of A." The words left his mouth unintentionally, but he meant what he said. She looked at him, a bit surprised. Whether or not he had been thinking that, she hadn't heard him say it out loud yet.

"Really?" She said, wondering if he was just saying this out of anger for his father.

"Really. I'm not saying I want to go to Juilliard because I don't. I just don't want to go to U of A either."

"Good for you," she said, stroking her thumb over his cheek. "That couldn't have been an easy decision to make."

"It wasn't. But it was my decision," he sighed, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of her hands on him.

"Yes it was," she smiled, watching his eyes close at her touch. "I'm proud of you." His eyes stayed closed while a smile formed on his face. He pulled her down and she willingly laid with him. He put an arm around her and ran his fingers up and down her back while she leaned on his chest, one hand over his heart.

"You're really great, Gabi," he whispered, kissing her hair. She blushed and looked up at him. He smiled at her and kissed her lips softly.

"I love you," she told him, their lips centimeters apart.

"I love you, too."


	2. Chapter 2

The engine hummed softly as Troy and Gabriella drove through the night. Gabriella's mom argued that they needed to leave earlier so that they would not arrive at Troy's house so late at night, but her arguments were shot down when Gabriella reminded her that she had one last morning class. It was just two days after Troy unexpectedly arrived at the Montez apartment in San Alto, California, after a fight with his dad that left him feeling like he was completely out of control. He had never had a panic attack before and to be honest, he was quite nervous it would happen again. And while Gabriella seemed to know what she was talking about when she told him that just because it happens once that doesn't mean it will continue to happen, he was still weary of it.

They had left later in the afternoon. Gabriella finished her last class of the week at 1:00, and the couple insisted on staying for lunch before finally hitting the road at 3:00.

"Drive safe," Ms. Montez begged them.

"I will," Troy promised.

"And call if you decide to stop somewhere for the night," Ms. Montez.

"I don't think we're going to stop… but if we do we will call," Gabriella added.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom." And with that the two were off. The truth was, they didn't leave late in the afternoon just so they could have lunch with Gabriella's mom. They were leaving late so that by the time they arrived at Troy's house, his parents would be asleep. He knew it wouldn't help, but it wouldn't hurt either to postpone the inevitable conversation with his father. Four hours of driving later, Gabriella was becoming antsy.

"Where are we?" She inquired.

"Are you whining?" He chuckled. "We're in Bakersfield. Are you hungry?"

"No, just bored," she said, smiling at him. He smiled back at her and got off at the next exit. While he was filling up his gas tank she wondered into the convenience store. His car had finished before she came out, so he went in and saw her debating between a Diet Coke and a Dr. Pepper. He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. She smiled and looked up behind her.

"I don't know which one to get," she explained.

"You have this in-head debate with yourself all the time, and you always get the same thing."

"Well maybe I want to shake it up."

"Yea, but knowing you, you don't," he smiled, choosing the Dr. Pepper for her. She shook her head and took his hand as he went to pay for it.

--------

"Alright. We have an important decision to make," Troy said after an hour of comfortable silence.

"Mmm?" Gabriella mumbled, close to sleep.

"If we take the 40, we'll be get home around 3:30 in the morning."

"Or?"

"We can stay on the 15 and go get hitched in Vegas," he suggested. Gabriella's eyes shot open. She sat up and looked at him.

"You're kidding, right?" She said, slightly worried that he would truly to anything to avoid going home. He sighed.

"Yea," he exhaled. "I guess I was." He looked over at her and winked.

"You're crazy, Wildcat," she giggled, leaning back against the window.

--------

"What time is it?" Gabriella asked groggily as she opened her eyes.

"Almost two."

"Are you tired? I can drive for a while if you want," she offered.

"Very funny."

"It wasn't that funny."

---------

"Gabi…" Troy whispered, rubbing her thigh softly.

"Hmmm?"

"Gabi, we're here."

"Mmm…"

"Come on you can go back to sleep inside."

"Okay," she said, rubbing her eyes. Troy hopped out of the car and opened her door for her, and she stumbled out. He put his arm around her and the two walked quietly into his house. Gabriella continued to his room while he stopped to let his parents know that they arrived.

"Mama, I'm home," he said softly into their room.

"Troy?"

"Yea, Dad. I'm home."

"I want to talk to you."

"I just drove for fourteen hours. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he said, closing their door behind him. He entered his room to see Gabriella already asleep on top of his comforter. He took off his shirt and laid down next to her. Almost subconsciously, the two quickly became entangled in each other's arms before drifting off to sleep.

---------

"Troy!" Mr. Bolton said forcefully as he opened his son's door. Troy and Gabriella jumped awake. Gabriella rubbed her eyes while Troy turned around to face his father.

"Dad, we're sleeping! Go away," he said angrily, turning back around and burying his head in his pillow.

"No. Son, we need to talk. So as much as you want to sleep with your little girlfriend…"

"Oh, give it a rest will you?!" Troy said, turning back around and pulling himself out of bed. Gabriella sat up uncomfortably. She watched as Troy almost pushed his father out of his room before following him out. As much as she tried not to, she couldn't help but overhear yet another conversation between Troy and his father. Although she had to admit, hearing both sides was a much different experience.

"How dare you come in to my room and speak about my girlfriend like that! Especially while she's right there!" Troy began, his voice already raised.

"Putting aside the fact that it is your room in my house, I just think you are putting a lot of effort into a school boy crush that you…"

"Oh, come on, Dad! It's not like that with Gabriella and you know it!"

"You just missed three days of school, Troy! Without asking for our permission, I might add!"

"I'm eighteen, Dad! It's second semester of my senior year and basketball is over! It's not like a missed anything!"

"You know, ever since you got involved with that girl…"

"That girl is named Gabriella, Dad! And I'm not going to listen to a word you have to say if you keep dragging her into this!"

"Honey, Troy's right. This is not about Gabriella," Mrs. Bolton tried to reason with her husband. Gabriella hadn't even realized she was there until then. She continued to listen.

"It has everything to do with her!" Mr. Bolton retorted. "You think he would even be thinking about Juilliard if it weren't for her?"

"Her name is Gabriella, Dad! Call her by her name!"

"Fine. Do you think he would even be thinking about Juilliard if it weren't for _Gabriella_?"

"I already told you! I don't want to go to Juilliard! I didn't even apply for that damn scholarship myself!"

"Well you certainly don't want to go to U of A anymore!"

"Is that so bad?"

"No, of course not…" Mrs. Bolton began.

"Yes!" Mr. Bolton said over her. "We've been working for this since you were old enough to hold a basketball, Troy. All the sudden you meet her and everything changes?"

"Her name is Gabriella!" Troy repeated again. He felt his heart rate begin to quicken. He started to take deep breaths and tried his best to block out whatever it was his father was saying. He would not do this again. He would not let his body do this to him again.

"Troy?!" His mother said, her voice finally overshadowing her husbands. Troy had sunk to his knees and leaned his head on the side of the table. He was covering his ears and counting slowly to ten. When he reached ten, he took a deep breath and looked up at his father.

"Her name is Gabriella," he repeated, his voice lower but with just as much anger as before.

"I just don't understand why you would want to give up everything you worked for a girl that you may not even be with next year," Mr. Bolton explained. Gabriella sucked in her breath. From Troy's room she could easily hear everything. The brief moment of silence had her worried, but she felt calmer when she heard Troy speak again. As far as what his father said, this was something that her and Troy had yet to discuss. Sure they discussed the possibility of being at different schools, even in different states. But they never discussed what that possibility would mean for their relationship. To be truthful, she had no idea how he felt about the matter.

"Dad, Gabriella and I could be a thousand miles apart next year. But she means everything to me. I'm not letting her go," Troy said confidently as he stood back up.

"Troy," his mother began.

"Mama, I know you think we're too young to…"

"Troy," she interrupted. "You got a letter yesterday. From Berkley."

"From Berkley?" Troy repeated.

"Berkley?" His father echoed.

"Berkley?" Gabriella joined in. Nobody had noticed her exit the room after Troy's declaration of his intentions to stay with her through college. They all turned around to face her.

"Yes. Berkley," Troy said softly to her. "The Bears play a mean game. And they have an award winning theater department," he added for his parent's benefit. His mother handed him the envelope and he took it gratefully. The room was silent while he opened the envelope. He read the first few lines of the letter, and closed his eyes.

"Sweetie?" His mother asked softly. He paused before answering her.

"I got in," he told her, a smile beginning to form on his face.

"You got in?" Mrs. Bolton repeated happily.

"I got in!" He said, allowing his mother to hug him proudly. "I can't believe it."

"I can! Oh, Honey! I am so proud of you," she said, pulling away. He couldn't take his eyes off the letter. He barely even heard his father walk out of the house in an angry huff or his mother follow him out. He did however, feel the presence of his girlfriend become stronger as she came closer. He broke his intent stare at the acceptance letter in order to look up in to her eyes.

"Berkeley is in California," she said.

"It is."

"It's…"

"Thirty-two point seven miles from Stanford," he finished for her. She could feel the tears in her eyes begin to form as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Troy…"

"I love you so much, Gabi," he mumbled into her hair as they continued to embrace each other.

-------

As Mr. and Mrs. Bolton reentered the room, they couldn't pretend that they hadn't heard those words come out of their son's mouth. Mrs. Bolton looked at the young couple approvingly, while Mr. Bolton scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"How about breakfast?" Mrs. Bolton interrupted, and the two teenagers reluctantly broke apart.

"Thanks, Mama," Troy smiled. Mrs. Bolton smiled back at her son.

"Congratulations, Son," Mr. Bolton said a bit awkwardly, holding out his hand for Troy to shake.

"Thanks, Dad," Troy replied, shaking his father's hand willingly. After a short but meaningful handshake, the two men dropped their hands to their sides. Mr. Bolton went to help his wife make scrambled eggs and Troy pulled Gabriella to his side as he continued to read the acceptance letter again and again. He smiled as he felt Gabriella's lips brush against his jaw line.

"I love you, too," she whispered.


End file.
